Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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