Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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