So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
