i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
