I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
