When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
splinters make it hard to masturbate
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
