He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize