im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
