I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
