Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
