yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
