I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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