I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
