so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Don't tell me you're on acid again
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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