Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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