I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
this hospital has no fireball
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
