Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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