Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
