Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
