if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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