Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
