She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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