did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
