okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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