No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
