Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I want a musical about memes.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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