I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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