Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize