If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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