dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
