I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
