You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
