R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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