Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
