Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
