I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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