Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize