Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
