Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
