bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
