its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
how does that bad decision feel?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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