it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
