theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
