3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
