we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
