BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
