I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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