Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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