So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
