So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
