so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
