Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
