I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
