Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
