i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
