Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize