We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
