she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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