he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
