margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
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